Russian: Vĵećĵérnij zvon

This post starts a series of kinda-nonstandard posts in which I go over the Russian songs from the CL songbook, giving different versions, including the one on the songbook, and commenting on the megacringe transliterations of the songbook. The first such song is Вечерний звон | Vĵećĵérnij zvon, "Evening bell chime". I give below the songbook text (megacringe transliteration "MCT", possible cyrillification "C", and good transliteration thereof "GT"), the lyrics here, the lyrics of the video, and the lyrics of this other video.

Sonbgook version MCT C GT Viecerni svon, (2v.) Kak mnoga dum navodit on. O junich dniach v kraiu random, Gdie ia liubil, gdie oci dom. I kaki a snim naviek prastias, Tam sliscial svon v pasgliedni ras. I skolkich niet tiepier givich Tagda viesielich maladich. Вечерний звон, вечерний звон, Как много дум наводит он. О юних днях в краю рандомродном, Где я любил, где о[т]чий дом. И каки акак я снимс ним навек простясь, Там слышал звон в последний раз. И скольких нет теперь гивихживых Тогда весёлых молодых. Vĵećĵérnij zvon, vĵećĵérnij zvon, Kak mnógo dum navódit on. O ĵúnikh dnĵakh v kraĵú randómrodnóm, Gdĵe ĵa lĵubíl, gdĵe ó[t]ćij dom. I kaki akak ĵa snims nim navĵék prostĵás', Tam slýšal zvon v pozglĵédnij raz. I skól'kikh nĵet tĵepĵér' givíkhživýkh Togdá vĵesĵólykh molodýkh. Lyrics of video 1 Cyrillic Transliteration Вечерний звон, вечерний звон! Как много дум наводит он О юных днях в краю родном, Где я любил, где отчий дом. И как я, с ним навек простясь ЯкТак слышал звон в последний раз! Вечерний звон, вечерний звон! Как много дум наводит он Vĵećĵérnij zvon, vĵećĵérnij zvon! Kak mnógo dum navódit on O ĵúnykh dnĵakh v kraĵú rodnóm, Gdĵe ĵa lĵubíl, gdĵe ótćij dom. I kak ĵa, s nim navĵék prostĵás', ĴakTak slýšal zvon v poslĵédnij raz! Vĵećĵérnij zvon, vĵećĵérnij zvon! Kak mnógo dum navódit on Wikisource lyrics Cyrillic Transliteration Вечерний звон, вечерний звон! Как много дум наводит он О юных днях в краю родном, Где я любил, где отчий дом. [И как я, с ним навек простясь Там слушал звон в последний раз!] Уже не зреть мне светлых дней Весны обманчивой моей! И сколько нет теперь в живых Тогда весёлых, молодых! И крепок их могильный сон; Не слышен им вечерний звон. Лежать и мне в земле сырой! Напев унывный надо мной В долине ветер разнесёт; Другой певец по ней пройдёт. [И уж не я, а будет он В раздумье петь вечерний звон!] Vĵećĵérnij zvon, vĵećĵérnij zvon! Kak mnógo dum navódit on O ĵúnykh dnĵakh v kraĵú rodnóm, Gdĵe ĵa lĵubíl, gdĵe ótćij dom. I kak ĵa, s nim navĵék prostĵás', Tam slýšal zvon v poslĵédnij raz! Užé nĵe zrĵet' mnĵe svĵétlykh dnĵej Vĵesný obmánćivoj moĵéj! I skól'ko nĵet tĵepĵér' v živýkh Togdá vĵesĵólykh, molodýkh! I krĵépok ikh mogíl'nyj son; Nĵe slýšĵen im vĵećĵérnij zvon. Lĵežát' i mnĵe v zĵemlĵé syrój! Napĵév unývnyj nádo mnoj V doĺinĵe vĵétĵer paznĵesĵót; Drugój pĵevĵéts po nĵej projdĵót. I už nĵe ĵa, a búdĵet on V razdúm'ĵe pĵet' vĵećĵérnij zvon! (Second video skips verses 3 and 9 and repeats verse 1 at the end)

Sonbgook version Songbook Songbook to English Mine Il suono del vespro quanti pensieri mi porta. Mi ricorda i giorni della giovinezza della mia terra natia dove ho tanto amato, dov’è la casa di mio padre. E quando mi sono congedato dai miei per sempre ho sentito quel suono per l’ultima volta. E molti di loro che oggi sono morti allora erano giovani e allegri. The sound of vespers How many thoughts it brings to me. It reminds me of the days of youth of my native land Where I have loved so much, where there is my father's house. And when I took my leave from my people forever I heard that sound for the last time. And many of them who are dead today Were then young and cheerful. Evening bell chime, evening bell chime, How many thoughts it brings. About the days of youth in my native land, Where I loved, where [my] paternal house [is]. And how I, having bid it goodbye forever, There heard the chime for the last time. And of the many now not alive [And] then cheerful and young. Lyrics of video 1 Evening bell chime, evening bell chime, How many thoughts it brings. About the days of youth in my native land, Where I loved, where [my] paternal house [is]. And how I, having bid it goodbye forever, Then heard the chime for the last time. Evening bell chime, evening bell chime, How many thoughts it brings. Wikisource lyrics Evening bell chime, evening bell chime, How many thoughts it brings. About the days of youth in my native land, Where I loved, where [my] paternal house [is]. [And how I, having bid it goodbye forever There heard the chime for the last time!] No more shall I see the bright days Of my deceptive spring! And so many now not among the living [And] then cheerful, young! And strong [is] their sepulchral sleep; Inaudible to them [is] the evening bell chime. I will also lie in the grey world! A melancholic tune above me In the evening the wind will carry; Another singer will pass by it. [And already not I, but it will In meditation sing the evening bell chime!] (Second video skips verses 3 and 9 and repeats verse 1 at the end)

OK, so first some comments on the transliteration:

• They transliterate и ий ы all as i instead of distinguishing them as i ij y, which is bad;
• They're trying to convey some approximate pronunciation, so they sometimes account for vowel reduction (random should be rondom, or actually rodnom, but then you have tiepier which is actually pronounced tipiér) in Italian spelling (so i can be used for the y-sound as in tiepier, which is tjepjer or tyepyer, and poslĵédnij is posgliedni because the palatalized l sounds like an Italian gl-sound);
• Random, besides the vowel reduction thing, has a consonant swap, and should be at least radnom;
• Oci is clearly not очи, and should be otči, with the extra t;
• "Kaki a snim” has one space misplaced, and one omitted, it should be "kak ia s nim";
• “Givich” is just… like, are we French all of a sudden, with g representing ž?
• It’s viesiolich at best, definitely not viesielich.

Now for the analysis.

1. Line 1: Вечерний звон, вечерний звон;
   
   • Вечерний is the nominative singular masculine of an adjective meaning "evening";
   • звон is a nominative singular, and it means "bell sound", or "bell chime" if you prefer.
   Hence my translation. As for the songbook's translation, two comments:
   
   • While "vespro" can archaically mean evening, without something pointing to that old meaning, I take it to mean an evening prayer, so I wouldn't recommend it; especially when "serale" exists;
   • They got the "sound" part right, though they missed the bell; the most literal translation would be "scampanio serale", but that doesn't sound too good; perhaps "suono serale di campane" is better; or even "campane della sera"; I wonder how many bells there were, btw.
2. Line 2: Как много дум наводит он;
   
   • Как много is, word by word, "how much";
   • дум is the genintive of dúma, "thought"; so literally we have "how much of thoughts"; that's just how Russian does things :);
   • наводит is the present indicative 3sg of the imperfective verb наводить navodít', which means "to bring" and a few other things;
   • он is the masculine singular third-person pronoun, so "he"; because the bell chime is masculine in Russian.
   Hence my translation. Comments on the songbook:
   
   • It would probably be better not to imply the subject in l. 2, since the Russian not only puts it there, but highlights it by putting it at the end, in rhyme position; «Quanti pensieri esso mi porta», with a nice exclamation mark after the first line; that's just nitpicking though;
   • There should be no period after l. 2, as l. 3 refers to the dum in l. 2; the translation’s solution of “Mi ricorda” (it reminds me of) is nice.
3. Line 3: О юних днях в краю родном;
   
   • О is a preposition that takes the genitive case and means "about", and is linked to the thoughs of the previous line;
   • юних днях is the genitive plural of юный день, a masculine expression meaning "bright day";
   • в is a preposition that takes the prepositional/locative (and possibly the accusative for other meanings) and means "in, at, on";
   • краю родном is the locative of край родной, an expression meaning "native land"; I say locative because the first word is stressed like a locative, kraĵú, whereas the prepositional would be kráĵu; the locative is vestigial in Russian, and kraj is one example of a noun that kept a separate form; apparently most words in Russian merged that case with the prepositional.
   Hence my translation. Songbook comments:
   
   • It's "in my native land", not "of my native land";
   • It's fine to link verse 1 and 2 with an extra "It reminds me", but why not just avoid the period at the end of verse 1?
4. Line 4: Где "where";
   
   • я "I", nominative singular;
   • любил "loved", past tense masculine singular of lĵubít';
   • где see above;
   • отчий "fatherly" or "native", nominative (or accusative inanimate) singular masculine;
   • дом "house", nominative or accusative singular masculine.
   Hence my translation. Only one songbook comment: "where I loved so much" has a made-up "so much".
5. Line 5: И как я, с ним навек простясь;
   
   • И "and";
   • как "how";
   • я see above;
   • с "with";
   • ним "him/it" or "to them", dative plural or instrumental singular masculine/neuter; preposition takes instrumental, so this has to refer to the house;
   • навек "forever";
   • простясь is apparently an old-fashioned alternative to простив, past adverbial participle of prostít' "to bid goodbye", hence "having bid goodbye".
   Hence my translation. Songbook comments:
   
   • “Dai miei” (from my parents / from my town’s people) is not correct: “s nim”, as remarked above, is singular, and can only refer to the house;
   • "kak" was completely forgotten in the songbook's translation; it should be "e di quando, essendomi congedato da essa per sempre".
6. Line 6: Там слушал звон в последний раз;
   
   • Там "there";
   • слушал/слышал listened to / heard, past tense masculine singular of slúšat'/slýšat'; I'd honestly pick the latter hear;
   • звон "bell chime";
   • в последний раз "for the last time" (v=for, poslĵédnij=last, raz=time).
   Hence my translation. Songbook comments: the "tam" was omitted. Video 1 comment: The heck is "Ĵak"? Even "tak" doesn't fit as well as "tam"!
7. Line 7: Уже не зреть мне светлых дней;
   
   • Уже "any longer" or "already";
   • не "not";
   • зреть "to see", infinitive; this is an independent infinitive with dative subject following;
   • мне "I", dative singular subject;
   • светлых "bright", genitive plural of svĵétlyj;
   • дней "days", genitive plura of dĵen'.
   Since zrĵet' takes a genitive object, my translation is explained. Songbook comments: I would really put this line and the following one in the songbook, because if it is present, the next verse is more objects to zrĵet', whereas if not it is another object of memory, so omitting this verse is changing the meaning of the song;
8. Line 8: Весны обманчивой моей is just the genitive singular of the feminine phrase весна́ обма́нчивая моя́ "my deceptive spring" (word for word "spring deceptive my");
9. Line 9: И сколько/сколькых нет теперь (в) живых;
   
   • И "and";
   • сколько/скольких: lyrics give a clear link of this to the previous verse, so genitive it should be, thus skól'kikh, not skól'ko; if you drop the previous verse, this could be an exclamation and take the nominative "skol'ko"… except the adjectives of the next line are referred to skol'ko, and are genitive plural, so skol'ko is just a nope as far as I can tell; it means "how many" anyway;
   • нет "are not", indicative present any person;
   • теперь "now";
   • (в) "in, on, at", or even "among" I believe;
   • живых "the living", genitive plural of živój.
   Hence my translation. The "v" is required, because "nĵet" wouldn't take a genitive but an instrumental. Songbook comments: I'll just say "di loro" (of them, as in "many of them") is totally made up, and leave the rest to my translation.
10. Line 10: Тогда весёлых, молодых;
    
    • Тогда "then";
    • весёлых "merry, cheerful", genitive plural;
    • молодых "youthful", genitive plural.
    Hence my translation, and from now on only the lyrics (and video 2) have the lines.
11. Line 11: И "and";
    
    • крепок "heavy, deep", short of krĵépkij, nominative singular masculine;
    • их "their", genitive plural;
    • могильный "sepulchral, gravely", nominative singular masculine;
    • сон "sleep", nominative singular.
    Hence my translation.
12. Line 12: Не слышен им вечерний звон;
    
    • Не "not";
    • слышен "audible", short for slýšnyj, nominative singular masculine;
    • им "to them", dative plural;
    • вечерний звон: we know this phrase all too well.
    Hence my translation.
13. Line 13: Лежать и мне в земле сырой;
    
    • Лежать is another infinitive with dative subject, means "lie, rest";
    • и "also";
    • мне "I", dative subject;
    • в земле сырой "in the gray world", the phrase is in the prepositional, and the nominative is zĵemlĵá syráĵa, and is feminine.
    Hence my translation. I believe "the gray world" (or "the gray earth/ground") is a metaphor for the grave, hence the sentence means "I will also die".
    
    • Line 14: Напев "tune", accusative singular masculine;
    • унывный accusative singular masculine glossed as "наводящий уныние; тоскливый, грустный" on Russian Wiktionary, so "melancholy; dreary, sad" according to Google; the sad tune is the object of the verb in the next line.
    • надо "above", takes instrumental;
    • мной "me", instrumental singular.
    Hence my translation.
14. Line 15: В долине ветер разнесёт;
    
    • В долине "in the valley", the noun is instrumental singular of feminine dolína;
    • ветер "wind", nom sing masc;
    • разнесёт "will spread", indicative "present" of perfective разнести; perfective "presents" have future meaning.
15. Line 16: Другой певец по ней пройдёт;
    
    • Другой певец "another singer", nominative singular masculine, and the translation is word for word;
    • по ней "immediately after him", po in this sense takes the prepositional, and nĵej is the prepositional of on, referring to the vĵétĵer from the line before;
    • пройдёт "will go", indicative "future" of perfective projtí.
    Hence my translation.
16. Line 17: И уж не я, а будет он;
    
    • И "and";
    • уж "already", or maybe "still";
    • не "not";
    • я "I";
    • а "but";
    • будет "will be", indicative future of byt'; actually here this future form is used as an auxiliary with the imperfective infinitiva pĵet' to form the future "will sing";
    • он "he", but recall that the chime is masculine;
    • В раздумье "in meditation", with razdúm'ĵe being probably a prepositional rather than a nominative/accusative;
    • петь "sing" or "be singing", infinitive forms the future with the búdĵet seen above;
    • вечерний звон: needs no explanation.
    Hence my translation.